If I'm being honest, I oftentimes hesitate to truly identify as "Asian American." It's a label that doesn't really resonate with me much of the time, especially since despite being born in the U.S., my parents always stressed that we were not "American." When my parents were displeased with either my or my sister's behavior, the thing they would always say was, "Stop acting like an American," and that always had a special sting. Maybe my parents recognized how fraught the American identity is and wanted to protect us from a country that would never really make us feel like we belonged. For me, the identity that feels closest to home is "mean Asian." I'm both “mean” as the blend of my ethnicities represent a pretty good average point of Asia, and I'm also mean because I'm not really interested in being nice 😈 So I channeled my mean Asian feelings into this shirt design.
Despite all of my feelings on the subject of Asian American identity, I agreed to donate my design services to Stashed, a streetwear store in SF for a fundraising campaign to Stop Asian Hate. The shirts were sold for a limited time during AAPI Heritage Month in May 2021. All proceeds will be donated back to the Asian Community.
Photography courtesy of Stashed.
For my design, I drew upon ideas of feminine rage, bilingualism, and the experience of being lost in translation. Visually, I felt inspired by vintage East Asian household paper goods and pixel art. Ultimately, my design is a love letter to my heritage, my extended family, and to Oakland Chinatown, my home of three years.
In Noh theatre, the hannya mask (a hannya is a type of oni) represents female anger and rage. Data shows that many of the AAPI hate crimes are being perpetuated against women, so I chose to use the mask to represent our rage. AAPI women generally are positioned as being submissive/weak/docile so the use of the hannya directly pushes against that.
Photo courtesy of Stashed